My youngest starts Kindergarten this Fall—How do I choose what’s next for me? || Coaching Call with Megan

When Megan met with a psychologist she came away with a diagnosis of a perfectionist, with an achievement addiction. As she shares the ways she navigated her own all-or-nothing spectrum, much of her story will resonate with this community. As a mother of four (now five) she auditioned for a choir, which snowballed into a larger and more time-consuming job. Critical feedback from a family member then caused her to quit everything. In this conversation I help her identify the priorities she cares about most, and apply those as a filter to the opportunities she wants to pursue next.

Listen as Megan identifies learning, having a challenge, and finances as the filters she wants to focus on. She then sifts through some of the options she has recently had, and you'll hear in real time what this process can look like. If you, like Megan, can't figure out where your heart is anymore, this episode will give you the clarity you need to excitedly embark on finding your passions again.

About a few other things...

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TRANSCRIPT

Monica: Megan, thanks for doing this coaching call with me today.

Megan: Oh, I'm so glad you asked me to.

Monica: This is gonna be so good. I want to hear a little of an introduction from you.

Megan: Okay. I'm originally from Wyoming, Northern Wyoming. I came down to Utah for school and I found my husband there.

We moved to Arizona and lived there for three years and then we came back to Utah for work. I'm a mother of five kids and my baby is turning five in August and headed out to all day kindergarten.

Monica: Yeah. Big shift, and that's why you're actually here today, I believe. So how about you tell us why this shift is bringing you to coaching today?

Megan: Okay. Well, I feel like truly adequately set you up. I'll tell you a little bit of background. So after my fourth baby, I started to realize I just wasn't myself anymore. I, I don't think that I was fully showing up in my marriage, as a mother. My, by the time I had my fourth child, my oldest was six, so it was four kids, six years old and younger.

And you know, it's a lot, it's a lot of work physically, mentally, and emotionally. So I kind of lost myself a little bit and came to the conclusion it was time to get some help. So I actually started therapy with a psychologist who practices cognitive behavioral therapy. So we worked a lot on getting rid of that all or nothing thinking that overgeneralizing that I would often do.

And it's, you're gonna laugh when I tell you what he diagnosed me with. So in my coding, whatever my diagnosis is, I'm a perfectionist who has an achievement addiction.

Monica: Wow. I'm not gonna laugh. It's more like, yes, I get this.

Megan: Yeah. Well, I mean like listening to you for years is like, I think she knows. So Yeah, I just spent years really just going through this process of self-realization and just becoming really aware of my thought patterns, where they often go when I am either stressed or tired or hungry and, and kind of just giving myself a lot more grace.

And also learning more about kind of the way I process things, the way I think. And I found myself going from being an all-in mom, sometimes it was like two kids in diapers at one time, and I just started tiptoeing into trying the things that I used to love. And you're actually one of the people who taught me.

Even that, that was something I could do. So I started getting into choirs. Auditioning for shows. I started doing some more nutrition consulting. That's what I studied at byu.

I studied dietetics. I ended up getting a lead role in a play which turned into a part-time job teaching music for a musical theater program. That eventually led into me working for a pretty well known artist in Utah, doing some marketing and some public relations. That led into me doing a full on artist development program where I was working with like Hollywood coaches, Broadway coaches. And I was thinking, okay, I think I'm just gonna get back into performing. And then I just started realizing, you know what, Megan motherhood is so important to me and there's times and seasons. And it was like I needed that artist development class to realize there really aren't too many opportunities to perform in the way that the, at least my way of thinking of performing and still be present for my children after school.

I mean, unfortunately rehearsals are always between those hours of 4:00 PM and 10:00 PM So so I thought, you know what, maybe I'll just start getting into some acting gigs. Maybe I'll do that. And then something happened this last spring

I got some really critical feedback from a very close family member of mine. But I think where it was coming from is I'm not the best communicator. Like I'm not the best at like. Calling up family and staying connected all the time, and I just dive into whatever I'm doing right. I give you a test taste of all the different things I love to do.

And so when, when you're away from those family members that are so close to you for so long, they're not seeing all the progress and change along the way, but they were seeing a lot of like. You know, the things I was doing on social media and they were, they were seeing that, and it was almost like the things that I was trying out to rediscover myself was really bothering them.

Monica: Okay. Yeah.

Megan: So I quit everything. I, I stopped social media for like nine months and hardly got on it at all. I went back to cognitive therapy and I just started getting really e just even more secure in my identity.

Monica: Good. I'd love hearing that. Yeah.

Megan: It was less like the accomplishments. I should even ask you, did you post yesterday's episode so I could hear that before this interview?

Cause it was like,

Monica: wait.

Megan: yes. Hearing, hearing you talking about what it

Monica: Purpose.

Megan: Yes. Living purpose instead of just seeking for what your purpose is, but really living with it. I found myself doing that. Starting last spring into, really in the last few months, just savoring every minute, realizing, gosh, my oldest is almost 15.

And just being really present, realizing these kids aren't gonna be around forever. There's, there's so many ways that I've enjoyed supporting my husband. And, and anyways, I just found myself getting really present and then January rolls around and it's time to start registering my baby for kindergarten and he will be going to kindergarten all day.

He'll be with his older siblings. He's so ready for it. And I just started thinking I'm gonna have a chunk of time that I have not had for almost 15 years. Could I start tiptoeing back into some of those things, which I canceled in the last year, and now I'm almost it's, it's like I'm not sure where my passions are anymore.

What, what do I wanna do? Which one do I wanna try out? Where do I wanna go? And I've been, in the meantime, I'm a doer, so I've been applying for jobs. I've applied for three different jobs at the kids' school. None of them have been a good fit. I just, yesterday one of the guys that I've been doing some music production with, i, I, for a while I was writing music.

He reached out and said, Hey, where are you in your music production? It just feels like all these options keep coming to me. When the, when the jobs were not falling into place like I thought they would, earlier this spring, my husband said, do you go back to school? So it's like there's all these options and I can't figure out where my heart is anymore.

Monica: Yeah. Okay. Can I go back to one thing kind of briefly? When you, when that one comment from a family member led to you just quitting all the pursuits, you talked about how you then worked on being more present, which I, I, I see from how you're saying it is a positive for you that you learned to kind of be more present.

But was that comment and those actions that followed more out of like hurt and fear, or was it more out of you realizing I kind of went the other direction like too far, and I want to back up a bit.

Megan: Yeah, it was hurt. I was hurt. I was hurt for a while. I, I mean, we both played roles in that, like there was responsibility on both ends of that, but I was hurt and. I think I allowed myself to feel hurt for a while. It kind of led though into feeling victimized. So it's really been in the last two months that I've had this kind of eyeopening realization that I was letting myself feel like a victim, maybe even demonizing that criticism.

I. Too much

Monica: Yeah.

Megan: and I just, it's, it's way better on this side. I'm feeling way better on this side of things.

Monica: Well, I ask that just because I think it paints the picture of what it looks like when you are learning to reprioritize yourself or to make yourself even be on the list of your responsibilities including. Having your own outlets and passions and interests and even work that you are pursuing, and how oftentimes what happens is this rollercoaster of, of, of riding an exciting wave and then it going down and then riding an exciting wave and then it going down.

And sometimes that comes with a comment that strikes a raw nerve because we as women often feel a little bit of that shame still, even when we're riding that ride and seeing the benefits of it, we can have that lingering shame that just wants, that can be stroked so easily into a flame with someone who often has their own regrets to make those kind of comments So.

I just wanted to come back to that to kind of understand that better because it's helping me see now it's less about you wanting to make decisions with that person's voice in your head, nor is it wanting to make decisions out of a place of throwing spaghetti at the wall, kind of which you went through that explorative time, which is so important.

Now it's more like how do I listen to myself and how do I make real steps moving forward based off of all that I've learned about myself the last few years. Is that where you're at?

Megan: Yep. You hit the nail on the head.

Monica: Okay. And if we were to frame this as a question , what's the question here that you want to have answered today for yourself?

So,

Megan: Where, where is my heart? I have so many things that I love to do.

Monica: And I'm sure women who are listening who don't have an inkling of interests and passions, they're almost feeling jealous of you. And I say that, to not dismiss this problem, I want to tell them, this is what it will be like. You will have that export of time, and then you will get to this point where you're like, now I need to make steps of what's next.

And that is hard too. It's hard, period. It's hard.

Megan: Mean I, I will tell you that sometimes we've had conversations between me and my husband and he is like, sometimes it is a little hard to support you cuz you are kind of all over.

Monica: Yeah. So now you're ready. You're ready to have more of a direction. Okay. I wanna zoom out a little bit circumstantially, because this matters in where we're going with this. Going forward, what circumstances need to be met here with what you do moving forward? Meaning are there financial things that you need to meet or not?

Does that not really matter as much? Is it you trying to help support the family? Is it you trying to find more fulfillment through your work? Is it you just wanting to find a work and fulfillment doesn't matter?

Let's talk about circumstances.

Megan: Yeah. So I would love to contribute financially to our family and it's not something that's like, I must, but it sure would be great if I did. There's also a part of me that really wants, that, really wants to, since I have been married with children, I've largely been at home and the money that I would make I've done some.

Blogging, it's, it's just pennies, right? It's not important. And it doesn't, it doesn't show my value at all. But there's a curiosity in me to know if I could, right.

Monica: Okay. And. What, I just wanna follow up with that. What is curious to you about that? Like how it would feel, how it would change things in your family financially? Would it shift your own perspective of your value? Although you just said like, it's not about, like you've been able to remove, like, what I do is valuable.

Megan: Yeah. Yeah. You know, I think it would free up some opportunities. If I were contributing, then it would open up those opportunities to go on adventures as a family to do a few more things for our home.

So like financially, that's what that looks like.

Monica: So more freedom as a family to to have fun together.

And I ask that because like I do, you know, coach women who need to figure out what's next, but they also like the paycheck needs to happen yesterday or they have a little bit more time to figure it out as they go. But it's nice to know like what that looks like for you. What other circumstances were you gonna bring up?

Other factors that are at play here?

Megan: Remind me what the other one was. You said financial and then else.

Monica: It's, it's, it involves like how, what your time needs to look like. Do you, do you, do you only have like a couple hours a day and that you need to fit things in there? Or do you have like a bigger block? Is this more about like a bigger picture? What's next? Like career-wise or is this just more like, how do I spend my days?

It sounds like you want to contribute financially, so it is a, a career based thing, so,

Megan: So it really has to be during the day, right? It has to be between the time I drop kids off at school to when I pick them up. So that's what eliminates auditioning for the next big show at Hail.

Monica: Got it. Yeah, I, I can see that.

Megan: at this season, not at this season.

And honestly, it's taking me like two years to make peace with the fact that that's actually not what I want. Those conversations that we have on our way to choir practice for the kids and on our way home from basketball practice, it's, I mean, those are moments where I do a lot of teaching. I do a lot of listening. That helps me be a better mom. Like I, I don't wanna give that up, but it's taken me a while to come to that conclusion.

 But then I, I just feel this desire that it's, it's time to grow. I'm a learner and I, I just, I wanna be challenged. I wanna learn something new, brush up on an old skill. And so that's, that's kind of where that motivation is coming to look into a career or education cuz it's time for me to.

Time for me to grow again.

Monica: Okay. Okay. So based off of what, what we've been talking about so far, here are the things we know you need to meet. I am moving towards what career can I do while my kids are at school that will help me contribute financially but also challenge me. And I, I think as you're saying that, as a challenge, it's, it's, it's It's going to a value I, I can see you have about learning and growing and progressing that way too.

Is that all sounding right to you?

Megan: Yes. And even just you saying that, it's like, okay, now some things are making sense.

Monica: Okay. What things are making sense? That's actually what I was just gonna ask you next. Okay. In hearing it back, what are you like, oh, now I know No. To these things or Yes. To these things.

Megan: Yep. I mean, the first three things you said were like, yeah, yeah, yeah. The fourth one, it has to challenge me. That helps me realize why I still have not finished my application for a particular job at the school.

Monica: Okay.

Megan: It's not gonna challenge me.

Monica: Okay, let's talk about that then, because that seems to be your biggest sifter moving forward. And it's not like we're gonna go get on ZipRecruiter here and be like, okay, I'm gonna help you go through all these things and we'll choose one.

It's more as you do that or you're asking around or you're looking for opportunities, you're going to have that be part of the big sift is what will challenge me. In what ways do you wish to be challenged?

Megan: I really feel like it's in an education way. It's in a way where I gotta open the books back up and either relearn a few things or, or go into learning something completely new.

Monica: Okay, this. So for yourself, education for yourself, learning wise,

Megan: Yeah.

Monica: that's big. Okay. Anything else?

Megan: I, I get excited about having the structure that I would need and that I, I would be required to have, to make all this work. So if it's, if it's school that's something that I'm really gonna have to create a space and a structure to do, like, right? I, I've always been really structured person, but because my work is at home, a lot of it, you know, the deadlines aren't as strict as they were in school, right?

Or if I was an employer or an employee. So I get kind of excited about that too, that challenge of really sticking to a schedule again.

Monica: No, I, I totally get what you mean. It's not that you don't have schedules or deadlines, it's more that they're a bit more flexible and inward driven instead of it being outward driven. So it's kind of like the, the two will work together as you're moving forward.

Megan: Yep.

Monica: Okay. Anything else challenge wise?

Megan: I don't know if this applies, but I just have this thought. And sometimes this might look like running away from my responsibilities, but, but it's actually exciting for me to think about being less available

Monica: Mm-hmm.

Megan: to my family. That sounds horrible, but I'll explain. I, I feel myself as a mother oftentimes, like enabling.

Monica: Mm-hmm.

Megan: So teach my children's self-reliance is so important to me that if I was a little less available,

Monica: Yeah.

Megan: I feel like the lessons might come a little more naturally.

Monica: Yes. I, I 100% get this. Okay. This is awesome. So we know the ways you want to be challenged is within your own personal learning challenge structure wise in terms of how you're spending your days, which can be like good and hard at the same time, and. Encouraging your value of self-reliance within your children, and I like that.

This is a time and season thing too. It's not like you're saying to like a two-year-old, yes, you gotta learn how to be self-reliant, make yourself your own food or do your own clothes. It's like, no, they are old enough and it's time they are ready for this challenge too.

Megan: Yep.

Monica: Good for you to recognize that.

 As we're kind of making sense of this challenge piece. We know better what you're looking for in terms of time, and you want to be able to make money with time and how you're gonna be challenged.

What can you sift away now? That you were kind of thinking of, what can you now say? Either it's on the back burner or you're just like, Nope, that's just not something I need to even think about.

Megan: Yeah, like the two jobs that are even available that I even had my eye on at the school, I can sift that right out. It's, it's not going to meet the challenge marker

Monica: Okay.

Megan: I hope the musicians out there don't kill me, but the music production,

Monica: Mm-hmm.

Megan: funny enough to sift it at the way that I've been doing it in the past has cost a lot of money

Monica: Mm-hmm.

Megan: and it's typically not money that you see back.

Monica: Mm-hmm.

Megan: I don't think I've made more than a dollar on Spotify with the song, the song that's on there, right? Like it's. We'll probably sift that one out so we can sift out the way that I've been doing it, the way I've done it is with a lot of collaboration, right? A very skilled pianist who accompanies and really like helps me write the whole thing, the studio that I pay like.

If I, if I want to keep going into writing music, it's probably gonna have to be, this would be still spending money, but it would check the box of the challenge in getting more education on how to do some of those things on my own.

Monica: Okay. Yeah, this is where it's great. You can say like, no, in this way, but maybe in this way. So that's something you can have on your list now, like learning about music production in a formal capacity with maybe going back to school or, I don't know if you could become an apprentice for somebody.

I don't know if people do those kinds of things. Like maybe learning for you doesn't also mean you go back to school. That's another thing we have to consider the way things look. Doesn't mean you have to toss out the baby with the bath water,

Megan: Right.

Monica: so it doesn't mean you have to go back to school. You just need to be able to learn and to be challenged to learn new things.

Okay. And have that time part as well. I'm, I know I just kinda went like a little bit. Woo. Let's go like wander there, but I just wanted to bring that up too. That's,

Megan: no, I just got my notebook out, so I'm like, okay, this is good stuff.

Monica: Okay, so let's actually talk about what are the options then. I know you said there are many that you can sift away now, and we just basically talked about two, and I know there's more in your mind, but let's talk about what can maybe make it through this filter now. Tell me, tell me what's coming up for you.

Megan: Yeah, so in the past, many moons ago, I used to do nutrition consulting and it was usually for women. That's something that. Wouldn't require a whole lot of investment of money to get back at, but I could do simultaneously. Yeah, I could simultaneously consult while getting more education.

Monica: Okay. And would that look like a master's degree, a post-grad program for the extra learning part?

Megan: it could be. It could be. Postbaccalaureate classes to brush up on some, I mean, clinical nutrition changes all the time, and I would brush up on some of that. There's also those certifications that I could do. But the particular approach that I use the most. I would just need to go get certified in it,

Monica: Okay. Yeah,

Megan: if that makes,

Monica: so. So you can follow that chrome already. It's not like you're starting with a blank slate here. You do have like, this is the way that I prefer to teach and I wanna lean more into that. That's another filter for you. Even with that nutrition piece,

Megan: Writing it down.

Monica: is that the main area you were considering more education was with nutrition or were there other things? Musical music production as well was one you brought up, but.

Megan: Yeah. I mean, I wasn't even considering education until my husband brought it up. When he listens to this, he'll be like, why did I say that? I, I mean, I was, I was considering working. It's so funny. I don't have education in marketing at all, but in the last few jobs that I have had, I always ended up marketing.

For whoever I was working for. So I've thought about, I mean, I have, I have applied for marketing jobs since then, and that's something that I could do, but I could also really use what I've learned in those prior jobs to market my own website that I've had for years that I just. Yes, it's, there's, there's nutrition education on there and there's a lot of recipes, so a lot of application to feeding families, being well-rounded without extremes.

Monica: Hey, you just shared your niche right there and you're kind of your, your your main mission there. That's awesome. Here's the thing about online entrepreneurship, which, you know, because you did, you have done this in many, in different capacities, but now putting 'em all together for yourself, I have learned way more that I ever thought possible and not gone back to business school.

Through my online work. I've been challenged in ways.

Megan: doing it.

Monica: Yes, in the doing so, again, this is not me saying don't go back to school, and it's not me saying you have to go back to school, but it's also, it's, it's weirdly us putting more filters on while also giving you more room for possibility within how, the way this looks.

Does that make sense? So it doesn't mean you have to go get a master's degree in marketing in order to help your nutrition business, or you have to go back to get a Master's in nutrition or do, maybe the certifications will help you, but it doesn't have to be this narrow vision. It's more about these other things we talked about.

Megan: I'm so good at putting myself in that box too, right? Oh, I guess I better go back to school.

Monica: You know, Megan, what's, what's interesting is by the end of this call, it's not my goal to help you figure out what's next, like in a sentence.

Megan: Yeah.

Monica: But what it is is those two things I said, let's figure out what filters we can apply so that we can cross things off our list and that we have a lens.

Now that filter acts as a lens for, what am I looking for? And then how can I also open myself to possibilities of how it can unfold in ways I may not be including right now or because of my lingering perfectionism thinking that has to look a certain way, like achievement wise, like a degree or a, a certificate, although that can, may be helpful that shows I'm ready to do this thing or that I can be good at it, or that I learned this thing when really you, I can live it out.

So, Does that change anything for you about how this decision process will go for you moving forward?

Megan: Yeah. Yeah. I think that it actually helps me be a little more brave to just try, right? Like combining all these things that I have dipped my toes into and learned throwing spaghetti on the wall. I love that maybe I could use all of that to invest in my own business. Hmm.

Monica: I feel like sitting with that is a good thing to do because I feel like there was like, I mean, ki kind of being woowoo, but there was like an energy shift even as you said that,

Megan: Yeah,

Monica: and maybe your fear is blocking you from a, in the past, at least in the recent past, of being able to even see that as an option because you thought you had to reach certain outside metrics in order to pursue that, when really it might have everything you just talked about, what you want

Megan: totally. And I can tell you the exact fear, right?

There's that imposter system that's like, well, I don't have the MBA to say I can start my own business. I actually am not a registered dietician.

I didn't do my internship cause I went full force into supporting my husband and I had had a baby instead. So me consulting people on nutrition, right? I don't have those little badges. And I think what you said about those, those perfectionistic ways of, of doing things. Yeah. I think you, you uncovered what that fear is that I don't have that rd behind my name or mba.

Monica: This is one of those things like let's say you do decide you want to do that, you want to have that title because it'll add to the credibility, but you don't have to wait for that in order to start moving into this career in a different way. Coaching has a lot of freedom in that way, but also that's a whole other conversation about how that can be misused.

You're not one of those people that I see misusing in, in that capacity, but I will say, Giving yourself just that moment of saying, what would that look like and what would that feel like, and does it meet. The, the, the metrics I wanted to meet here of, of what I want this to look like, both with hours and eventually money, cuz we know that will take time.

And you have that time and the challenges that I want and why I want those challenges, then maybe it's something I can start moving in and here's what's gonna happen from here. It's going to take shape differently than you even decided right now together. Like let's say you decide tonight I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna go for it.

It's gonna look different than you thought. Because that's how all decisions go. I'm sure that's how it's gone with your marriage, with raising kids, with your major that you chose. Anything that you've done in your life where you've had to make those big decisions, it always unfolds differently. So my challenge to you is, One, I wanna hear back from you about how you're going through this decision making process still, because I know, and I'm very aware that you still need to go through this process, but I see that taking some more time and I'm, I wanna hear from you like how that's going and where you get stuck along the way, or what you decide to do.

But two, as you move through it, remembering that the point of this all is to have those metrics being met and welcoming in the journey that's going to require from you and the pivots it's going to require. The pivots are okay, the opportunities might come up that you never expected or that you will decide, yes, this is something I want to do.

Now just a quick example. I did this with coaching. Like I thought like I need a coaching certification in order to be a coach. I actually started coaching before I got that as a test to myself and also to learn what I wanted to get certified in. It gave me more information. With time, like, okay, this is the kind of coaching I wanna get certified in.

So I went and did that. But then I got on that trap of thinking I need more certifications in order to keep showing people that I am good at what I do. And I got to the point realizing like all these certification processes that I'm looking into, or programs I'm actually teaching, I, I'm good at everything.

They're teaching people how to do, so I don't need that. So there was kind of like a little pivot there, but at the same time, I now just like today, realize there's another one I do want. And it's not because I need to put a, a stamp on that to show people.

It's because I now have more information, that's helping me know that's where I wanna head next. So be ready for the ride and hold onto those filters we talked about. And ultimately what this is about for you deeper. How is that sitting for you?

Megan: Oh, it just sounds exciting. It just sounds fun.

Monica: Oh, I love that. So moving forward, you're, you're, it seems like you're gonna have less fear and more curiosity.

Megan: I would tell you that the, the main thing that I learned from my most recent journey in music production and performance was this, it, it was the rollercoaster of thinking I knew what I wanted to do, and then there was an obstacle,

Monica: Yeah.

Megan: and then I got back on the train. Then you'd get critical feedback and then the imposter syndrome would come on and then get secure in my identity again.

Monica: Mm-hmm.

Megan: I, yeah, I, I have learned that I have to be really humble going into anything that I do because I, I just, Yep. And I get that kick in the pants so many times when I think that I know how to do it. And really my way is typically never the best one.

I usually have to have multiple heads thinking about things. There's meditation that takes place there. And that's when, when the best ideas really come, like this, like this meeting that we've just had, like the clarity that I'm feeling right now of really starting to narrow down this big, huge list of things I love to do. I, I just can't do all this processing on my own.

Monica: Yeah. Well, and I, I brought up my story one, just to help you see like that, that tug of war between identity, like coming back to yourself and then that identity being challenged through like obstacles or failure or mistakes or criticism or doubt. And, and things taking a different route. That's, that's what it looks like.

So when you get to that, which might happen tomorrow or like in, in a year or two, just remember that's part of the process. And it doesn't mean the decision you made is the wrong one. It means it's just part of the pivot to your path, to your greater path of where you're headed next.

Megan: Yes. I'm so glad you shared that because even just what you said about, Hey, I started coaching before I actually had the certification. It helps me be a little bit braver about starting. Because I feel like I'm always like, well, as soon as I can get that education, then I'll start. As soon as I can get that certification, then I'll start and

Monica: Sometimes it's the starting that helps, you know, so, What kind of certification you want or what more education you need professionally. So I'm excited for what's gonna happen next. I want you to, again, come back to me and, and let me know how the decision making process goes, as well as how it unfolds.

Before we leave, I wanna hear what you want to remember from this conversation. You talked about having some clarity. What do you want to hold onto clarity wise?

Megan:

I just, I really wanna take away this feeling of out of the box that it doesn't have to be this perfectionistic right, of figuring out what I want to do. Like, it, it really, there, there's just so many options. And the options aren't overwhelming, but within these filters, I guess what you said, what filters shall I be applying here and how can that open myself up to more possibilities?

I think that's, that's the takeaway here. Mama, we must be at the 30 minute mark.

Monica: I, yeah, I think we're well past it. So very patient of them. Okay. Megan, this has been fantastic. Thank you so much for being willing to do this call with me today.

Megan: Thank you for asking me too.

 And I can tell you the exact fear, right? There's

Monica: it?

Megan: Oh, what, what's the word that they often use? Senior moment.

Monica: Scarcity.

Megan: self-sabotage, but it's like imposter

Monica: Oh. Mm-hmm.

Megan: Right. And I can tell you the exact fear, right? There's

Monica: it?

Megan: Oh, what, what's the word that they often use? Senior moment.

Monica: Scarcity.

Megan: self-sabotage, but it's like imposter

Monica: Oh. Mm-hmm.

Megan: Right.