How to Overcome Body Obsession and Come Home to Yourself || with Lexie Kite, PhD

body image podcast Feb 09, 2021

Learn to exist outside of the confines of your appearance and reclaim your power.

 

 

When the opportunity arose to have one of our previous guest's twin sister on the show, I rearranged a lot because this interview is exactly what so many of us need to hear. In episode 97, Lindsay Kite taught us how to build a resilient body image. Today, Lexie Kite brings us up to speed with their recent accomplishments and delivers another powerful episode on how to over come body obsession, and as she says, come home to your self.

 

Since they both received their PhD's in media and body image, Lindsay and Lexie Kite are the sisters behind Beauty Redefined and "More Than a Body," their most recent book. Having faced the same pressures and unrealistic ideals of female body image, Lexie knows where each of us is and meets us there with simple steps to overcome an ingrained obsession. It's time to stop holding yourself back, the world needs you. Tune in for the mantra you need to remember, how to deal with shame, and one super practical tip for social media usage that you can implement right away.

 

 

About a few other things...

 

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TRANSCRIPT

 

Monica: [00:00:00] Welcome to the show. It's nice to  have you on About Progress. 

 

Lexie: [00:00:03] Hi, thank you for having me. 

 

Monica: [00:00:05] It's good to have the other half of my favorite duo on the internet, you and your twin sister, Lindsay are making the biggest waves and the biggest, one of the biggest needs I see in the entire world.

 

Lexie: [00:00:17] Oh my gosh. Thank you. 

 

Monica: [00:00:19] Really it comes down to women knowing that they are more than just a body, which you two just wrote a book about. And I have your full course too.  Your book is so incredible and I want my audience to be exposed to that, but let's back up a little bit and let's talk about a post that I really think encompasses the work that you do.

 

And I shared it before our interview. I actually read the post word for word and I have it linked for people, but it was, and you've done so many. So, let me just remind you, you talked about what would it mean if half of the world's population were no longer staking their value and how they looked, what would change and related to that,

 

what have you lost? Because you've been so stuck on this and I wanted to know what has prompted that focus for you and your sister. And maybe this goes way back, or maybe this is recent. What has prompted that line of thinking for you two. 

 

Lexie: [00:01:11] You know, as we've been doing this work, like for so long now, like more than 10 years, the thing that propels us forward is this belief in women.  I believe in women, I see collectively what the world loses and what girls and women lose when we are so occupied with one part of our identities over all else. I see that. And so this work is propelled forward, not just by us, but by everybody who feels it in their souls, because I think we all see this collective disadvantage that comes from every single one of us feeling so defined by and preoccupied by our bodies that we aren't getting out there and doing, and being, and leading in all the ways we feel called to do, but feel too scared to do.

 

And that all goes back to, you know, for Lindsay and I. We've told the story a million times, but it's true when we were 18 and we were taking different sections of the same class, trying not to be such twins. And we write about it in the book. We took this, this media literacy course about how to understand why media is created, the way it is, how it impacts us.

 

I sat in that classroom and my heart pounded fast, and I felt what felt like an overwhelming spiritual experience of this secular truth. And that, that happened in 2004. So we're talking 17 years later, I personally felt that I had been impacted tremendously by swallowing these unreal ideals and thinking that I could only be loved and happy and healthy and successful when I was able to meet these ideals and I've proved myself wrong.

 

I hope that our research has helped other people see that they can prove themselves wrong and prove these ideals wrong because it's true. We believe in women. 

 

Monica: [00:02:55] Yeah. And it's so it's one of those, you know, what's the movie, the Matrix, you know, when they have the two different pills, it's like when you choose to take this pill and you swallow it and you realize this is reality, we give reality it's feels so warp it's like you can't unsee it. But also is so all encompassing and it feels so real and heavy that even if you are in the middle of doing the work, even if you know the research and you yourself are one of these people who is, you know, sharing the truth about this, and it's still is hard.

 

And I wanted you on here because I am struggling with this right now at the beginning of a new year, and I'm like mad. I mad that I'm struggling with this when it's been, you know, 15 years of working so hard on it myself. So do you get caught in 

 

this too?  

 

Lexie: [00:03:50] Of course, as a body image expert, I am, I mean, not where I used to be, but of course I get caught up in body shame and self objectification every day of my life.

 

I catch myself body checking when, you know, I haven't worn jeans in like months and months and months, you know, I don't really go anywhere. The other thing. I was taking my baby to get her flu shot. I put on my jeans, I walked around the house and I was like, this is uncomfortable. These are tight. I took them off.

 

Then I put my sweats back on to go to the doctor, you know, in the past that idea that my jeans got too tight, that would have left me making some plans immediately. I would be making plans for the workouts I needed to do and what I could not eat, I would write them down in my journal. They would be my new year's resolutions. 

 

Now, because of it, the work we do in body imagery, resilience, that means so much to me personally, even as I write the book, even as I read the audio book out loud, it meant so much to me and was so emotional because this is the kind of work that you go back to every day of your life. If you are angry at yourself for feeling the shame about your body for, for thinking about your worst fears of what other people might be thinking when they look at you, please know that that anger is actually a really good thing.

 

It means that you see. You're very uncomfortable comfort zone. It means you are not just swallowing that shame and continuing to make plans for how to fix yourself. So you can qualify to be seen. It means that you are on the path to rising with resilience. You know, we write in the book and I should pull it up, but I don't have time.

 

We write in the book about how to let your anger fuel you, to let that anger literally melt you back together.  The metaphor we use in the book that I think is really powerful, that we have heard a lot of good feedback on is that you split that self objectification is the idea that you live and you picture yourself living your identity is literally doubled.

 

It is split in two. Instead of living inside your body and experiencing your life and your body as the incredible tool that it is, even as you deal with disability and illness and all the things that come with living in a body. So many of us live outside of ourselves, only imagining how we look from the outside and monitoring ourselves accordingly.

 

When you feel that anger rise up, when you start learning about this work, when you learn about how objectifying this world is from every conceivable angle, let that anger fuel you to come back home to yourself. We do this in a million ways, and I can talk about what those actual strategies are, but I want you to know that you can use that anger as your first strategy.

 

That rings a little bell that says I'm doing something right. I can see that this is uncomfortable. I do not deserve this. And I'm going to change how I respond to the shame. 

 

Monica: [00:06:51] Sometimes when I have that anger feeling, I'm like, Oh,anger is bad. You shouldn't be feeling that way. And at the same time, I'm like, no, you look at this objectively and we should be angry. We should be angry. That half of the world's population, like you said in the post recently is being held back by not only objectification on the outside, but how it's internalized and how we're constantly seeing ourselves from outside of ourselves.

 

I never made that connection though. What you just said, Lexie, about that being a split identity and that language that you just used is so important to my community. Because we talk a ton about identity here and how it's important to come back to ourselves.   Our theme this month on the show is be wholehearted and women can not be wholehearted when their identities are split. 

 

So let's talk in a moment about some tips you have for them, but I want to use what you've taught us here today. And first start with reminding our audience what they've lost because of this. And. You know, maybe that's going to be painful and people want to avoid that. But how about you share some examples of what you have lost in the past because of this, this objectification on the outside and inside. 

 

Lexie: [00:08:05] Totally. So this metaphor we talk about in the book , this splitting, is painful to learn about. And what we do is we walk you through the process of thinking back to when you were little before you were conscious of how you appeared before you knew people were judging you, and sexualizing you, and monitoring you.

 

From the outside. We were all there once, even though we don't remember it . It helps to go back and watch like a video of yourself or see a picture of yourself as that little you, that you, that you still are. But that we forget, you know, we forget as we define ourselves by the outsides. When you look back to that little you. And then you start to remember all of the ways your identity split. It hurts. 

 

I think back to times in my life, when every woman in my life was on a diet. I can't shame or blame those women that I love for what they did and for what they will continue to deal with throughout their lives. But I started dieting the summer after seventh grade. I was 13 years old. I wrote about it in my journal. I shared those journal entries in our book. They're deeply personal and so sad. I write about the fact that, you know, we were competitive swimmers and I was about to go to a girls camp. And I wrote that "I have this many days until I go to girls camp.

 

I hope that I can lose this much weight because I want to be skinny. I want to fit in my new school clothes. I want to fit in my swimsuit." All of those things are me, literally explaining what self objectification is, evaluating myself from the outside, based on my worst fears of what other people might be thinking when they look at me.

 

When I look back on that, and I think about the many years I spent yoyo dieting, just drunk on that hope. But as I lost weight and got those compliments that inevitably came every time I lost weight every summer, every January, whenever I set those new goals, I did get those compliments. I did get more attention from the girls and the boys and my loved ones. I think back on that cycle. And I think about what I lost, I think about the fact that not only did I quit the swim team, cause I was nervous about how I looked. I think about the fact that I was in student council. I was class president every year, but I was too nervous to do all the things I wanted to do to be the one in the front, you know, emceeing or doing the skits or being with my friends, with their Halloween costumes, because I didn't want to wear what they were wearing. You know, these little things. 

 

Think of how many ways we hold ourselves back. Not only from that, but I always believed when I was little that I was too fat to be loved. And until I got married, I thought I could not qualify to be loved until I lost weight. Fortunately, that is not the case. And I've proved myself wrong.

 

I sit here today, fatter than I've ever been happier than I've ever been in the most beautiful relationship with the most beautiful man. And I wish that I could tell little Lexie that she was going to be okay. And that I would be loved, not just in spite of my flaws, my flaws in quotes, but because of who those flaws in quotes made me. They all ushered me to who I am today to a place where I can also help other people to see their power in their pain.

 

And I hope that people, when they look back and think about what they've lost, think about, and research shows this to be true, that girls and women, we hold ourselves back at every conceivable way. When we, when we self objectify , what have you not done? Like even the little things. When have you not taken that family photo, not scheduled it or not gone to that reunion with your friends or not goe to the grocery store because you had as it, or didn't have the right thing to where, you know, the list goes on and on.

 

What is the world missing and what do we have to gain when we come back home to ourselves? 

 

Monica: [00:12:06] I'm just thinking how sad it is that we are believing such a big lie and that the wool has been put over our eyes in ways that are incalculable. Like we can't, we can't add this all up. There's no algorithm on earth that can add up all that. We have lost as a collective, not just personally.

 

 Let's say we have women who are listening and they're feeling either the beginnings or the full depth of that pain of what they have lost, what their families have lost, our communities in the world, because they've been so stuck in this body, the looking at the body of the, seeing it objectively and obsessing over it.

 

And they're now ready to use their pain and transition it to power. Where should they start? How can they do that? 

 

Lexie: [00:12:58] Hmm, I could give you 1 million strategies. Three. Okay. Let's start with, okay. The first one I would say is I want you to memorize and internalize our mantra. It's the subheader of our book. My body is an instrument, not an ornament.

 

This does not just apply to your body. Being an amazing physical instrument that can compete in Olympic feats. I'm not just talking about fitness here. I'm talking about you coming home to yourself to understand your body from the inside. I need you to become an expert on what it means to live inside and feel your body as your own.

 

What joys can you experience in your body as your own? How can you come back home to yourself when you start to see your body as an instrument? You start to see your life as an instrument, not just in the ways that you can serve people and the ways you can change the world because you can and you will, but you'll be able to experience more joy from just living.

 

You'll be able to feel gratitude for what your body can do. You will stop objectifying your health and fitness from the outside by measuring it according to arbitrary numbers, like the body mass index, like your weight, like your dress size. Instead, you will realize that your health and fitness are determined from the inside.

 

What you can do. How you feel. What goals can you accomplish? What dance classes can you take to feel those endorphins rise within you? Who can you walk with this afternoon? You know, who needs to get out? It needs to go on a six-foot distance walk with you in a pandemic. Yes. You will start to feel the joy that you have been missing by evaluating yourself from the outside.

 

And it will be one way that you can come home to yourself. So please memorize. The mantra, "My body is an instrument, not an ornament." Every time you feel yourself, slip away. Every time you look in the mirror and you hate what you see, or you see that photo, somebody, your kid took a view when you weren't looking in that shame rises up, or your mom comments on your weight, or your sister loses a bunch of weight and you get triggered by all of the, you know, the compliments she gets.

 

I want you to tell yourself again and again, my body is an instrument, not an ornament. Her body is an instrument, not an ornament. Together, we can rise. We can rise in the face of all this pain. 

 

Monica: [00:15:34] I never thought Lexie though. I never thought of this. So is this terrible. Yeah. In all my years of work and therapy and money spent on this , I never thought about. And so it's so obvious now that you're saying you put the wool over your eyes, you don't see things. You can't see what you can't see. Anyway. I never thought about just coming home first, like getting real about how it was my, I have told my friends and my doctors where they're like, do you notice this symptom? Or that, and I'm like, I don't know. I'm totally numb to my body. 

 

Lexie: [00:16:04] Yep. Huh. That's a sign. That's a symptom of, of disordered eating, of internalizing a ton of body shame. It's a symptom of overexercising it's a symptom of living in an objectifying world. We absolutely divorced ourselves from the reality of what it feels like to live inside our bodies.

 

And as you become more intuitive with your movement, with your eating, with your life, as you start to prioritize how you feel and what you can do, I promise you your life will open up. You will feel joy. You have not felt before. 

 

Monica: [00:16:39] And it's strange to me that that's something that when you first prompted me to do that, I got a little afraid. Because it seems scary. And it does. I wonder why that is. Yeah, 

 

Lexie: [00:16:50] I think it's because a lot of people feel like they would lack control in their lives because we have been taught that we can control our lives by controlling how we appear. And that is not true. Think about this, if you gained some weight, if you aged a few years right now.

 

If you stopped wearing makeup. Or stopped working out and lost the muscle mass or whatever the thing is that makes you feel like you, I can promise you that promotion. We have more privilege than we realized, and we would not lose the things we think we would lose. 

 

Your husband will not leave you. Your friends will not stop loving you. Your family will not leave you. You probably will not lose your job. Okay. You probably will not lose the followers you have on social media, unless they are all there for your butt or whatever the thing is like so many of us.

 

 And this is the second tip I want to share. I want you to prove yourself wrong. We write about this in the book. Lindsay has the most like beautiful and powerful example about what it has looked like for her to prove herself wrong. As 35 year old Lindsey, that moved to New  York city. I won't share her story, but I will encourage you to think about the fact that we have been sold from a million angles throughout every year and every day of our lives the idea that we are not worthy, unless we are fixing ourselves, you know, unless we're in a constant state of, of working on ourselves from the outside. 

 

And so we, we see our bodies as projects, you know, in constant need of fixing. But the truth is that if you were to step back from the beauty work that you feel like you have to do every day, which includes dieting, it includes exercise for aesthetic reasons, every single bit of everything you do in terms of beauty.

 

If you were to step back from it and really take inventory of how much money and time and energy and effort you're spending in this work. I promise you that as you remove some of those things from your list of to do's, you can prove yourself wrong. Because you can show up anyway, I did this in a pandemic.

 

I decided that I was relying too heavily on mascara. I don't wear eyelash extensions because I know based on the fact that at Halloween I've worn fake eyelashes. But when I take them off, I feel naked. I feel like I could never be beautiful enough, not with all the mascara in the world, so I don't wear them, but I wear mascara every day.

 

And I realized that I felt really ashamed of myself without mascara. And I realized shame was fueling my use of mascara. So during the pandemic, Oh, I stopped wearing it. I didn't wear it on an IG live. We did for beauty redefined. I didn't wear it in front of my husband. Nothing changed just a little example, but I want you to prove yourself wrong.

 

We write in the book, what is the thing that makes you want to burst into tears when you think about doing it because you want to do it, but you're afraid. Do that thing or work toward that goal. What is that thing? Do it, I promise you, your looks are not part of the equation. Like we have been led to believe they're just not.

 

Monica: [00:20:05] Hm. Hm. And, and the world that we're in right now, this is why we need women to do this, to come home to themselves and to prove themselves wrong, to, to do these things. You're saying, because we need the leadership. We need the life experiences, the intelligence, the talents that are being wasted with even just the time of the upkeep and you know, and I, and this is, I know we have another tip, but let's just go on a quick little side thing here. How do you balance out. Like enjoying fashion or exercising or mascara too. Like how has that come into play with this address? 

 

Lexie: [00:20:41] All of this in the book too, it takes first. We do an inventory. I want every person to do an inventory of like, of. How they spend their time and money and if it could be better spent in other ways, now the line is going to be different for everybody.

 

And it's not up to me or anybody else to shame or blame anybody for what they do in the pursuit of beauty, but also in the pursuit of just normalcy of just wanting to feel like you again or whatever the thing might be. I get it. I totally get it for myself. I have set some clear boundaries, especially because of the work I do. I would be betraying myself if I were to do some of the more extreme beauty measures that I talk about. Might be causing women undo shame, undue danger to their health and happiness, like cosmetic surgery. Yeah, for me, and only for me, I have chosen to believe that that whole beauty is pain philosophy is opposite of what I want for myself. So I'm not going to do anything painful in the name of beauty.

 

 That goes so far or as even like laser hair removal for me. I'm not going to get laser hair removal on my legs or my armpits, because I want my daughters to see their hairs on their legs. And to know that they're normal because my mom did that for me. Like I saw her with hair and I realized like, I'm okay. You know, when I hit puberty, that was, that was a big thing. Just normalizing it all. 

 

Because every time we partake in new beauty work, you know, and there's a new flaw to be had every day of the week. Every time we, we do new work, we are raising the bar, not just for ourselves, but for everybody else in the whole world, including our daughters, our friends, our coworkers.

 

So for me, those are the things I do. I also do whatever I can to make sure shame is not fueling my choices, like mascara. That has been really huge for me. The line is going to be different for everybody, but I know that we can all be more mindful of how we use our time resources, energy. And I know that we could do a better job of devoting some of that elsewhere. 

 

Monica: [00:22:58] Yes. And that's where I like how you start with an inventory, you know, and to really just take a good look at it, just look at it, practically, look at it objectively in a different way. And then go  from there. Because I get caught in this too, because a lot of what I work on and in my community is progress over perfection. And sometimes I'm like, am I a fraud? Because I wear makeup online. Like, am I a friend? Like, should I, like, I get to the extremes really easy, which is funny because I'm trying to get people not to do that, but that's just my personality. So that helped me. That really helped me break it down in a way that I can do that in alignment with myself and come home to myself.

 

And especially that measurement of shame. That's a really awesome measurement. Okay. Let's get back on track again. Thank you for letting me go that way. So what's the last tip that you have for women? 

 

Lexie: [00:23:44] Okay. The third tip I would share is to curate your social media usage. I know that this sounds so intuitive, like, yeah, duh, I only view what I want to see or what is entertaining to me. But I, I don't think that we understand what an impact our social media feeds and the people we follow have on our own sense of identity, and worth, and value, and wellbeing.I say this both from a professional perspective and a personal perspective that curating your feed to serve you is an absolute game changer. This means that if you are viewing content, I look at everything through the lens of self objectification. If you are viewing anything, even from your loved ones that is causing you to split from yourself, causing you undue pressure to say, "Oh, I need to go shopping. I need to dress better. I got to get my face fixed. You know, I got to minimize these pores," or whatever the thing is. I want you to look out for yourself first. You don't owe a follow. To anyone, especially not a hate-follow. Don't hate-follow these influencers because you want to see what they're up to. You can check in occasionally, but never heard that description, but it's so true. 

 

Honestly, for me, I, I do not follow influencers or individuals that post body centric content I, I don't, I, for me, I've found that my self objectification very much rises to the surface when I'm, when I'm following anybody. Even my friends, you know, who are posting a lot of stuff that are caught up in, you know, before and after pictures or just fashion or whatever the thing is. I love fashion, but I find myself easily getting stuck in a place of feeling defined by my outsides and feeling like I need to fix something.

 

And so I don't. I have curated my feed to the point that I feel better when I view social media, not worse. And for the most part, research shows that girls and women do not feel better about themselves when they're on social media. They do not. And so I want you to realize, truly, that you don't owe a follow to anybody.

 

You don't know your time to anybody, you will not be better served by knowing the latest trends or the latest fashion or what that Kardashian is up to. And I hate to villainize the Kardashians, because I also likee them, but, you know or whoever. I want you to know that, like you have to look out for yourself first and when we are viewing even people we love and finding ourselves comparing ourselves, of course, we should look at ourselves and them with compassion. We write all about how to do that. 

 

But at the end of the day, a lot of people are caught up in a world that gives them little crumbs of power, little bits of power by playing by the rules of objectification by showing their bodies for likes and validation and engagement, even people we know and love. It happens so consistently because women are given so little power in other areas of their life that we strive for these scraps of power, that can be taken away as freely as they are given to us. And in a social media world bodies get engagement. And so you have to look out for number one. If you are wanting to rise with body image resilience, you have to change the way you use social media to serve you. Instead of serving, you know, capitalism and patriarchy and sexism and all these other isms, 

 

Monica: [00:27:22] All of the above.

 

I had a guest on last spring, who is an intuitive eating coach. And she talked about the idea of also intentionally diversifying your feed too. So yeah. Having different, all different types of bodies that you see, like the normalizing factor is huge too. And absolutely I have been doing that and I, I have to say you're right.

 

That does make a difference. And I didn't really recognize that when I am able to scroll that it does make me feel better when I see normal powerful women. Whoe don't have that split as much as you might see. 

 

Lexie: [00:27:59] One thing, if you're into fitness, if you're into body positivity, whatever the thing is, and you want to see a diversity of bodies in your feed, which will always fight for greater representation of all people, especially when that bleeds out of social media, into mainstream media. We're seeing a little bit of that. I hope we'll see so much more in the future, but one thing to watch for is women in action. 

 

You know, it's one thing to see a posed body on your screen, even a body with cellulite or stretch marks or things that look like real life. It's another to see women in action, in movement. And there are awesome influencers that you can see that are weightlifting, that are running, that are that are posting videos of themselves doing these things in a non sexualized way. It's not a camera angle focused on their butt, you know, constantly see across social media it's women in action.

 

And it just, it is so motivating to see people actually move their bodies and not just be posed in all the ways we've seen before. So I highly encourage you to look up fitness influencers that are actually moving their bodies. It is, it's awesome. Yeah. 

 

Monica: [00:29:04] Another thing that I hadn't thought about and what a difference that makes, but I didn't realize that you're right. There, there is a difference between the stillness and the posed, even if it's, you know, intense intending to zoom in, on some stretch marks or anything like that tha it being in motion and that is so interesting. I I'm going to have to. You know, seek that out and figure out who I can find. Who, who does that and lifts it up.

 

Lexie: [00:29:25] Totally. Yeah. Tally rye on Instagram T a L L Y R Y E K, Meg bogs. She does. She she's awesome. Definitely look up Meg bogs and Louise green. I think she goes by big fit girl. The three of them, there are so many more, but the three of them are, are a great place to start. 

 

Monica: [00:29:48] Well on top of this incredible book that's been launched, I ordered mine through Amazon. I'm sure you have a lot of, you know, just get the book regardless of where it is. Get the book, get the mum. Yes. And just listening to you, it's clear. I mean, you have, by the way, your doctor, like, you know, this stuff like this, this is not just like, Oh, you thought this up, this is heavily, this is heavily researched and everything is so sound. And what, what, what you are doing together. 

 

But now let's talk about what you're doing personally. This is the last question I asked my interviewees, like we're we're personal development show. So we'd like to strive for greater within us. And we do want to be, be working towards being better people. So what are you doing right now, personally, to work on being a better you.

 

Lexie: [00:30:33] The thing that has served me the most that I've been working on is to move my body and in really intuitive ways. In the past, I used to use exercise as like a punishment. Mostly just to try to fix myself, just to try to have skinnier legs, you know, and less of a butt. And now ever since the pandemic hit, you know, I have a one-year-old baby.

 

So when the pandemic hit, I had like what, she was three months old at that point, not even three months. And I was just about to get back out there in the world, you know, maternity leave had ended and I had, I bought a bunch of new clothes and I was going back to work and, and then life just shut down again.

 

I was in a lot of pain from giving birth. I had a really painful birth. And so when the pandemic hit, I was just starting to heal and I was just starting to not be in pain for the first time. I decided that I needed to start just moving my body, not to change my body, to serve me and my mental health.

 

And I bought a treadmill. And put it in the spare bedroom that barely fit up against the wall and the bed. And I have been using it like intuitively. I don't do it if I feel like I'm punishing myself. I, I only do it when I want to, but I've been doing a solid 45 minutes, hiking uphill on the treadmill at least four times a week.

 

And my body hasn't changed at all, might I add? And it, thankfully that wasn't the goal. So I had kept going and our research shows that when girls and women set fitness goals that have to do with like aesthetic goals, their bodies changing, they won't keep up the fitness because their bodies won't change in the ways they're hoping that's just what happens. But if you set like internal goals, like your mental health and wellbeing, your endurance, you know, those things you can actually maintain. And I got to tell you, it has been a game changer for me. I love it. I love the endorphins. It makes me so grateful for my body that isn't in pain right now from childbirth. It truly is just a game changer. So that's what I've been working on. And 

 

Monica: [00:32:38] This is why I love what we do here in this community and the people that we bring on, like you who teach us, it's not about this all or nothing. It's not about being totally move away from the objectification. You don't wear anything. You don't dress yourself. You don't exercise. Like it's not about that. It's, it's so much different and yeah. And it's hard to rise above the extremes on either end, but I will say that this work that you and your sister are doing and the community you've built together, empower me to come home to myself, to find more power inside me, and to, to show up imperfect and to show up.

 

And I'm so grateful for you. And I just want to thank you on behalf of my listeners for being on the show today, Lexie. Thank you. 

 

Lexie: [00:33:22] Thank you so much for your kind words and support. It means so much.