How to Look Back, So You Can Look Forward

I love the energy that the new year brings, because for many of us it's a time for looking forward and making new plans. I have a whole episode about being a January Joiner that you might love! But, I need you to know this was not always true for me. For years and years I did not set any goals or resolutions, I couldn't even keep a daily planner because I was afraid of setting expectations and failing. Trust me when I say that I have been on both sides and this workshop-style episode is for everyone listening.

Let me explain to you how to look back, so you can look forward with four reasons why this matters as well as a very personal example of how this has played out in my life. You know that in this community we have a big focus on "Do Something," but today we're changing it up and I'm guiding you through your own "Did Something" list to end this year on a high note. You'll hear me walk through this in the episode, but make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter to get it in digital/printable from.

About a few other things...

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TRANSCRIPT

Welcome to About Progress. I'm Monica Packer, a regular mom and recovering perfectionist who uncovered the truest model to dramatic blasting personal growth. It's progress made practical. Join us to leave the extremes behind and instead learn how to do something to grow in ways that. Women love to blame themselves when they fail at habits, and I am here to tell you that it's not your fault to learn the number one reason why women must do habits differently.

Sign up for my free class of the same [email protected] slash habit class. Again, it's totally free.

With the current year coming to a close and the approach to a new year, I am feeling the energy of that new year of the possibility and what can come from it to me. It's definitely a time to look forward and to make plans. Sometimes we really can lean into this possibility time and become a January joiner, which I totally encourage you to be one.

I've done a whole episode on that. You can listen to episode 312 to hear about how to be a wise January joiner, but I also want to kind of hit pause a little bit. because in our rush to ride this high energy and to move forward to the best version of ourselves, we miss out on two really important opportunities.

The first is to validate how far we've come, and the second is to collect information from our past that can guide our path moving forward. I used to hate the new year . Especially when for years I did not feel the energy of the new year. I felt more of the pressure, but also this like preemptive disappointment in my own looming failure that I was certain would come with the new year.

and I have now over time, you know, changed my view of the new year, but I've also developed a theory of people who, like me, hate the new year, like the old me rather. And maybe they are avoiding goals and making resolutions, setting plans, coming up with things they wanna work on. And my theory is this, it's actually quite simple.

It's not the new year, it's about themselves. They don't have faith in themselves that they can change. And it's really quite simple. Why? It's because they don't see how much they actually have changed already in the recent past. During my time of hating the new year, this was not just about the new year for me.

I didn't make any kind of goals and resolutions for years. I think around 10 years time I didn't do that. I didn't go. I didn't even do it day to day. I didn't even have a day planner where I dared to plan out what my day would look like and have expectations and things I was moving towards, and it was because of that same reason.

It's because I had no hope and faith in myself that I could actually change. A lot of us deal with something I'm calling progress blindness. We are so easily and often blind to our own progress. If there is one thing I could have done during that time where I was really entrenched with this progress blindness in all areas of my life, but especially going to the new year, there's just one thing I could have done that would've helped me look forward with more hope and to fix that blindness.

It would've been to look back before I looked forward because if I had looked back, even on those really hard years where I didn't have many achievements to speak of, there was still progress or growth or development or learning happening that I could validate. That would've been really hope giving. So my friends, that is actually what we are going to spend this episode focusing on.

I want to help you look back so that you can better look forward to 2023. Let's start by answering the question. Why does it matter that we look back? I have three big reasons for you. The first is that when you look back, it creates a sense of accomplishment. , you get a kind of, I did it feeling when you are able to see, wow, these are the things I actually did do.

The second reason why it helps is because it creates hope inside of us in the process. When I say the process, I'm talking about one of our big principles that small wins build over time. It's really hard to have the courage to believe in that, but when you're able to look back, it instills this hope in you that, oh my goodness.

Yeah. The small steps that I take, they do matter over time. They do make a big difference with time and sometimes even just the small lessons we learn or the small changes we make are enough to. And the third big reason why looking back helps is because it, it helps us have motivation to continue on, to look forward.

Let's face it. I mean, there's lots of built in energy to a new season, a new year, but that energy is fleeting. It doesn't last. And so a big part of why it helps us to look back is because it gives us the motivation to override when that energy drops and to depend on our own internal motivation that we can get from looking back.

And the fourth and final thing that looking back can do for us is it just gives us information when we know better what actually worked, what didn. Then we can move forward with that information. And even if we just know, oh my goodness, that was a mistake. That's great information to have moving forward.

Or oh my goodness, that was a should a prescription. I don't wanna do that again. How great is it that you have that information? So those are the four reasons, my friends. Why looking backward lL help you look forward and also help you overcome that progress blindness.

There's this great productivity tip where people encourage you to write a done list instead of the traditional todo list. And that totally exemplifies what we just mentioned about the power of looking back, right? It installs that sense of accomplishment. You have more hope, more motivation. Now we have a huge Do something focus in this community.

It's been a part of our mindsets and it's also been a driver to how we take action in this community. We do something, not all, not nothing. We do that in a few ways. More formally like our Do Something challenges at the end of our main episodes. We also do that through our Do Something list, which is our yearly focus, where we do something that scares us, where we explore who we are and that changed my life.

Right. You are familiar with that? . What I wanna do is turn both this productivity tip on its head and our Do something list on its head, and to help you look back so you can overcome your progress blindness. I want you to create a did something list. . A Do Something list can come later. And by the way, stay tuned for that.

Get on my Go-Getter newsletter because I am gonna teach a free workshop on that online where you can create, where you can create your DSL for 2023. But right now, before you do that, before you make any goals, resolutions plans, you decide the habits you're gonna work on, you ride the energy of the new year, you become a general joiner.

I want to challenge you to create a did something list. I am actually gonna guide you through on how to do that and in more of a workshop style, which is gonna be really, really fun. But I also want to first exemplify how this can help a did something list. And this is actually inspired by my dsl. And prior years, I've had a, I've had a DSL almost every year since I initially did my first one seven years ago.

There was one year I didn't. But in those, in those prior years, it was one of those things like I never really looked back on. And the biggest difference that has made me make the most progress on my DSL list than any other year prior this year were two things. One is that I made it visual, like I. Had it up, put it up in my closet where I saw it often.

And the second thing is that most months, or sometimes two months or three months at a time, depending on the season, I would do a little real for Instagram where I would recap for that season what I had, like I did a DSL update. Now, each time I created that reel, I have to tell you that I was so certain that I would have next to nothing to share.

but each time I proved myself wrong. In looking back, I was able to find photos or videos of, of me doing the things I wanted to do in my dsl. And as I compiled those and made short reels for them, I experienced those three things I, I shared with you. I, I felt like a, I did an accomplishment. I, I had more hope and faith that small steps do matter and I felt more motivated to continue to work on my dsl.

There's so much power in looking back and I want you to have that in an even bigger way. So next step, I'm going to help you look back on 2022 and create a did set thing list so that you can look forward to 2023. But first, a quick word from our sponsor.

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And I know for many of us, that is a bad habit. And in other times in my life that has been a bad habit. Bad habits are tricky to fix, and that is why I am so thrilled to be announcing a new bonus module all about bad habits on my course, the sticky habit method . This new bonus module is called Bad Habit University.

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It is. Pricing is going up January 1st, and I want you to get access now. If you sign up, you will see that bonus module very, very shortly, and you can do that by going to about progress.com/sticky habit. Again, that's about progress.com/sticky habit method, and this is so you can have the full sticky habit method.

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I'm so ready to do this with you. Let's look back on 2022 and help you create your did something list. This is going to be more workshop style, which means I am going to kind of work through some possible questions for you to consider that will help you create a did something list. I'll also have some simple.

Ways to do this that I'll offer at the end. So don't worry if this seems overwhelming to you. Also, don't worry if you're like, I don't have time to write these down right now. I would just encourage you to fir first, just listen through how I'm gonna guide you through this, and then go back through and answer the questions.

To better help you both answer the questions and create your did something list. I have a guide for you that's for free. It's called the Did Something Guide, and you can get that for free by enrolling to my [email protected] slash gogetter. What we're gonna do is we'll attach the did something guide to the newsletter for the next month to every newsletter we send out on Wednesdays.

And if you listen to this way after still enroll to enroll to the Go Getter newsletter, and then just email me back when you get a newsletter and request this document and we'll send it to you right away. That was our simplest version of getting this to you. So again, I have a did something guide for you that you can print.

The questions are all there, so you don't have to listen back and try to write them down. There's space for you to write. There's also space for you to actually write down your did something list that you can put up, just like I'd encourage you to put up your dsl. One quick disclaimer before we move into the workshop style of this episode, I want you to know that there is no need to answer every single one of the prompts that I'm gonna move through or even.

Again, I am gonna give you the smallest and simplest version of how to create a did something list and I will offer to you that to you at the end of this episode. Okay. So right now I have the did something guide in front of me, and what I'm gonna do is quickly just describe it, move through the prompts that I have there, the reflection questions and what this can look like for you.

And then I'll give the small and simplest version. I also. What I think a powerful story to exemplify the power of looking back for you at the end. So stay tuned for that. First, you should know that the guide is initially divided into three main categories, and these categories match the pillars of the about progress community.

The three big pillars of what we work on in this community, they are identity. Habits and fulfillment, and I am doing those categories just so that way we can break down and move away from the overwhelm to help you remove those that progress blindness. So you can see how I've made, how you and I do have made progress in these three categories.

So let's start with identity. And the bigger question here is, how have I grown in my identity to help guide that big question. We have a couple that you can answer. One thing I learned about myself is something I'm proud of myself for is I learned I value. This really mattered to me the past year. I know better than ever this about myself.

And the final question is, I saw progress with my identity in. If that's the only question you answer in that category, I'm happy. So that's identity. And if you're listening to this later and you're hitting pause every time I ask a question, that's great. But again, if you don't wanna do that route, just go sign up for the go.

Get a newsletter so you can have this guide in front of you. Let's move on to the second category habits. What have you done with habits in 2022? Here are some optional prompts you can answer. The first is, one Habit I created was a next prompt. The next prompt is a self care practice I honored. Third, something important I learned about habits was because learning really matters too.

Fourth is one small change that made a big difference for me was, and the final big question, if there's only one question I want you to answer under this category is this one I saw progress with my habits in and share what that is. And now we're moving on to the third category. How you've grown with fulfillment.

Fulfillment can be defined a lot of different ways. For me, it's when I feel like myself, I just feel fulfilled. Okay, number one, one. And how did I have fun? Two. Something new I tried was three. When did I feel most like myself? Four. What is something I found myself interested in learning, doing, and trying?

Five. What did I learn This. six, what did I experience and or accomplish? And the final question, and this is the only one you answer into this category, that's great to me. I saw progress with my fulfillment in and share what that is. Now I thought about me going through this guide and answering those questions for you and sharing what this looks like, but to me it's more self-explanatory.

Again, the focus is just to look back in these three areas and see how you've grown, like what you've done. And I also have some bigger reflection questions for you on the guide. And they include how do you feel about yourself and your progress from 2022 now and, and, and how do you feel more motivated and.

Now, I also asked you to think about something really good. I want you to create a win from this exercise. I want this exercise to help you now know better what's important now, and that's actually an acronym. It means you create a win w i n, by knowing what's important now, because here's the fourth thing that looking back does.

and I said this at the beginning of the episode, but let's, let's share it again here. Looking back gives you information, just objective information. And if you're struggling to know what's important. Now in the guide, I have a list of eight questions that will help you answer that, including what worked, what didn't, what was worth your time, what do you actually need, what shoulds are getting in the way and more.

So altogether here, I want you to just spend a little time, if you're gonna do this on your own, with or without the guide. You're reflecting on those three categories, identity, fulfillment, habits and fulfillment, and tracking the progress that you've made there. And then you are gathering information about what's important now.

Based off of what you've learned and looking back and you being able to have that win in mind, what's important now will help guide 2023 better and your DSL better, and any goals and habits you make so you can have that. But then I, from that, I want you to create a did something list. You take your answers to the prompts and you combine them, or you just write it all differently.

You can do it any way you want, where you now write a did something list for 2022. These are the things I did. These are the ways that I've grown, that I've changed. These are the experiences I've had. Here are the lessons I, I have learned that I did not wanna ever forget. . Now let's talk about the smallest and simplest version of this.

Again, you don't have to answer all the questions, if any. What I want you to do is just take a little bit of time to reflect on this question and just write down your own. Even brainstorm a messy did something list. Here's the question. This year I saw progress in and share what that is. Let it flow.

Don't worry about doing it the right or wrong way, or being eloquent or making this something that others can see. This is just for you. Start by just thinking about that question. I saw progress in.

Now that's it for the workshop part of this episode. I wanna get back to the heart of why this. , I've already shared the four big reasons why looking back helps you better look forward with those. We talked about how doing so creates a sense of accomplishment. It gives you hope in the process. It provides motivation to continue and also gives you information to direct a win.

What's important now, but I wanna illustrate this power by sharing my own moment. Of looking back that recently happened for me and how it gave me all those four things to help me better look forward. And this one's a little bit more vulnerable and personal. And it invloves is one of my kids now. You know, if you've listened to the podcast for a bit, that I have some kids with special and unique needs.

But I'm also pretty private about my kids and I don't share a ton about them specifically online, but I do wanna share just a little bit more about one with this weird combo of being vague enough and specific enough now with one of these kids and, and since I have mostly boys, I'm just gonna say he from now on, right?

He was one of those kids that was just a mystery to all the professionals that we were working. , over the course of a few years, he was almost diagnosed with almost every diagnosis under the sun, both mentally and behaviorally. And through those years he was extremely challenging and became more and more and more challenging, but especially after we moved at the start of covid.

To be really honest with you, our lives became a living nightmare . This is where I'm gonna be vague on what that looked like, but I want you to know that every minute of every day was 100% dependent on where this child was at. There were times where it honestly was devastating. There were times where it was enraging in times where it was downright scary.

Now, luckily we found a miracle professional who finally helped us pinpoint what was really going on with his, with his brain and his development. And then from there, the real work started and it was a minute by minute deep and hard work of helping this child get and learn how to stay regulated this first six months of this minute by minute work.

It was so intense. I'm telling you though, we saw basically 0% change and I mean zero. And keep in mind that this was already after years of trying to get this child help, but after that six months, we began to experience shifts. They were so small and so seemingly insignificant. That I honestly wasn't sure if our lives would ever have a semblance of looking and feeling normal.

Now, fast forward to just this past month in church. This, the same child sat next to me and he's saying hymns. At one point he put his head on my shoulder and even wait for it held my hand, and that was a moment, a moment where I had to look back. I had to look back at all the hard, hard moments before then, the years of hard work, the despair, the fear, and the persistence.

And not only did that looking back, help me see how far we've come and help me embrace that moment even more than I would have otherwise. It helped me look forward to because there's still more work to do both for this child and the problems that we are still trying to help them navigate, but also for our soon to be four other children and the problems that I'm sure are to come with them too.

Looking back in that moment also gave me information. On what can help us better move through the hard that is to come. It helped me see what worked about the last few years that helped us get to that point and what didn't. And just so you know, one of those big pieces of the puzzle was getting help if you're in a similar position.

But that moment was so powerful for me and I want you to experience that power too. Look back. So that you can look forward.

I hope this episode gave you the hug and kick in the pants that you need to grow, especially to look back so you can look forward. I did not have formal progress pointers for this episode, but we do have the did something guide for you. Again, to get that, just sign up for our Go Getter [email protected] slash gogetter.

If you don't use the guide, it doesn't matter. Just create a did something list and to help you do this and to be inspired by it. By the way, you can do it. Anytime. This doesn't have to just be the end of a year thing. I do have a request for you though to help you do this. Will you please share one of the things that you did in 2022 and share that with our community through leaving us a voice note.

Next week, it's pretty short turnaround. We're gonna have our final Dear Progressor episode of the year, and I want to hear your voices share the small to big ways that you changed what you've learned, what you've tried. Experienced, failed at, accomplished, and so much more in 2022. I want us to have a did something Dear Progressor episode.

It's really simple to do this, and again, you're just sharing one of these things. Keep it simple, but to do it, you call the Google number I have for you in the show notes. It's just right there in the show notes for you. Or you can also record a voice memo on your phone. Every phone has a voice memo app.

Every phone it comes installed with one, and you just record your answer to a question I'll give to you and you email it to [email protected]. . Here's the way you can, you can answer the question. Here's how you can set this up. I want you to record by starting your recording with this. I did something this year, and then you share what you have to say.

Again, I did something this year and share what is, even if it's like, I learned this thing. I did this big failure. I tried this thing, I learned this lesson. Do this as soon as you can. Please submit those to your progressor notes for. , my friends. I'm doing this exercise too because to be honest, I need it.

2022 was a great year, but it's also one where I'm like, did I really change? I don't know. Did I even make any progress in my big goals that I had and work towards? I don't know, and I'm gonna do this so that I can better look forward to 2023 cuz 2023 is gonna look a whole lot different for me and my family.

It really will because we're having a baby, right? So I'm gonna do this alongside you and I can't wait to share my did something list with you. And I'll do that on Instagram for those who are curious. Thank you so much for being here and for listening. Now go and do something with what you learned today.