Easy Ways to Find Yourself, No Matter How Late || with Mikayla Johnson

There's more inside you that needs to be cultivated and anchored into so that as your roles and responsibilities shift, you are able to shift alongside them.

When I created my first ever Do Something Plan 5 years ago it was simply to try to dig my way out from under a quarter-life identity crisis. I say simply not because it was a small task, but because I had no idea what it would become, just that I needed to do something. If you also find yourself feeling stuck, or unfulfilled, (even if you have the things you want!) then this episode on easy ways to find yourself, no matter how late, is just for you.

Mikayla Johnson is a Progressor, a member of this community, just like you. In this episode she details the many hats she has worn, from hobbies to businesses, as well as her own quarter-life crisis. Through pursuing even the smallest of interests, without the pressure of perfection, Mikayla is more secure in her identity than ever. Tune in and see if you can catch her "I am" proclamation about her current pursuit, it is truly inspiring!

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TRANSCRIPT

Monica: [00:00:00] Mikayla welcome to About Progress. We are so thrilled to have you today.

Mikayla: [00:00:04] Thank you so much, Monica. I am so delighted to be here. 

Monica: [00:00:09] Well, this is really my favorite kind of energy interview to do someone who is from our community. I really feel like we learn the most from our fellow progressors.

So it's. An honor to have you on here to talk about something that I see as so passionate in you, but also in our community at large, this desire to grow, to find ourselves, to learn. And that's what you are here to talk about today. So this has been a lifelong thing for you,  learning how to blossom later on to grow into yourself and to change in ways that maybe you thought.

"Hmm. I didn't know. That was possible for me at this point in the game." So how about we just talk about this in terms of your own story. So give us a little bit of behind the scenes. What is your own progress story? Especially with this lens to it. 

Mikayla: [00:00:51] Yes, I'd love to share. And also, I just want to say, I'm going to try hard, not to gush too much about how much I love About Progress while I'm on here, because all the other progressors have meant a lot to me too.

And what you shared. So yeah, as for my own journey , so I'm going to start with talking about piano. When I was a little girl, I was probably nine years old and went to school and I didn't have any musical experience up to this point besides like air guitar with my dad in the kitchen. I had one of my friends played piano for like a talent show in our fourth grade class, and it just blew my mind. I obviously had seen pianos before people had played piano at church, but seeing my friend do it, gave me this new idea of, "Oh man, I could do this. I could play piano." So I went home that day and I asked my mom. "Hey, mom, do you think I could have piano lessons?

I really want to learn this." And she was like, of course, like, let me talk to your dad. We'll see if we can fit it into our budget, but I think that's a great goal to have. So they enlisted me in piano or enlisted. What am I saying? I'm not in the army, enrolled me in my, 

Monica: [00:01:53] My kids would have said otherwise . . .

Mikayla: [00:01:55] Like boot camp with piano. Yeah. So I got enrolled in piano and I really loved it. It was just like this magical world. Like I could make music with my fingers. It blew my mind. And unfortunately shortly after that, I remember either it was a recital or some other talent show at school.

I was so proud of what I could play for my classmates, the audience, and then someone else younger than me got up and played something that was far more advanced than what I had played. And unfortunately I got caught so early in that comparison game and I saw their skill. I saw my skill and I thought, Oh no, what business do I have playing piano?

Like they started five years before I did. It's tragic that already at age nine, I was already playing this comparison game instead of staying in that beautiful world of look at what I can create. Look at this music that's flowing from my fingers and in my soul. And instead saying, Oh, they can do it better than me.

So why bother? You know? So I think we all are learning throughout our lives. What we like, and we can enjoy it no matter how young or old we are. And it's not about how good they're doing it or how bad we're doing it. I think it's good that we're just involved in something that brings us joy. So why not celebrate that instead of condemning the lack of skill we supposedly think we have, you know, 

Monica: [00:03:24] Or that we don't have this special degree or certification or some way to prop up all the work that we did to show that it was worth it. It's, it can be more about the enjoyment, like you said, of the process and how we learn along the way.

And you know what I think you're right.  Learning how to play the piano at nine is not ancient. I actually have many people I know who started far later, but when you're in the middle of that, it does feel like you were late to the game. And I think a lot of the women who are listening to the show think that they are too late to the game as well.

And when we speak to women learning to be whole and to be full, that's what this is. It's deciding for yourself that it doesn't need to fit into a certain box or mold or a certain age or certification. And I'd love to hear more about how that has looked in your life in other ways, too, this, this learning that it's never too late.

And that's a theme we did a few months ago, which I love, but also how it led to you feeling like you were more fulfilled in yourself and whole and the process and not because you met the certain outcome. 

Mikayla: [00:04:27] A few things I thought about in my life, things that really meant a lot to me, have come at different stages.

So something I have loved my entire life long from the time I was in preschool and started to realize that print was on a page and that individuals with a pen and paper could do that could make print on it page and tell a story, I've just been in love with writing.  Writing is one of my things that has just been a part of me since.

I can remember.  But I fell in love with horseback riding when I was 10. That doesn't mean that I was too late, you know. I fell in love with culinary arts when I was 13 or so. And then guitar and singing became this huge part of my life. And still is from the time I was a teenager. And then Spanish man Spanish has redefined my personality.

I feel like I'm half Argentine now learning Spanish and living there in Argentina. And that started when I was 20 years old. So I feel like I have this other culture that's a part of my identity is something that I just totally love that didn't come till eight years ago and then quilting, which is one of my favorite ways to express my artistic passion came just two years ago, you know, so these things have come throughout my life and I feel like they're all integral parts of my personality. I also think that  growing up, we start out in this little cocoon that our parents make for us. And we're just this little Caterpillar in this little cocoon, just discovering what exists. And it's not a, it's not a bad place to start. We need to start somewhere. And the interests of my parents and my siblings and my grandparents started me out with some knowledge of the world.  I'm grateful for that because I learned that I love rock and roll music and camping and Christmas time because of that beautiful place, my parents created for me as a child.

But as I grew, and I'm still exploring and growing and seeing more of the world, I see so much good and so much that delights me and gives me this sense of curiosity. And I'm just compelled to learn more.  Just because we started out somewhere, that doesn't mean that that's all that we can have available to us throughout our lives. There's still so much more to be explored and discovered, and that we can add to who we are. . 

Monica: [00:06:37] I was listening to a podcast today with the woman who was executive producer of the Oprah Winfrey show for a long time. And the reason I loved listening to that episode is because you would think that would be the  pinnacle of someone's career.

Like that would be the thing you're defined by and no, she had to find another way after, because even though that was, you know, a highlight of her career, she couldn't stop there. She had to figure out what was next for her and not dwell in this perceived fact that she had already "made it."

So what was the point of keeping going? And I think we see that in many ways as we are growing and maturing as women where we think. I was supposed to be at my pinnacle and I'm not, or I don't feel that way or I already passed it and it's gone. And now what's next? And we kind of get in that stuck place of feeling that there's nowhere to really go from here.

Have you ever felt that way? I know you've had this lifelong drive of curiosity and exploration, but did you ever get to a point where maybe you felt 

Mikayla: [00:07:34] a little stuck?

 Oh yes, absolutely. I love when you talk about your early midlife crisis, Monica, because that totally totally happened to me. I like to call out my quarter-life crisis because I was 24, turning 25 and a half.

But anyways, I felt stuck, you know, I felt like life was going really well. I had really enjoyed my undergrad career. I studied elementary education and just really felt like I found my niche in teaching children ages eight to 10 was my sweetpot.  And my husband and I were just enjoying our new life together.

We had been married about two years at this point. And during this exciting time of our life, we also found out we were expecting our first baby. And then so much came crashing down within like space of like a month and a half. My husband unexpectedly lost his job for the second time in a year. And our landlords kind of blackmailed does out of our apartment contract. And all of a sudden we found ourselves living in my grandparents' basement, which was very gracious of them, like so sweet of them to make a place in their life for us to stay on like a week's notice. And then I was experiencing some health issues with my pregnancy.

That was just so unlike anything I'd experienced before, but amongst all this, I had just graduated probably three four months before this all happened. And I think some of my sadness and struggle happened before some of these other unfortunate things happened because I was having this identity crisis of not being a student anymore.

I had been a student for 20 years, you know, ever since I could remember. And all of a sudden I didn't have semesters to block out my life. I didn't have professors. I didn't have a list of curriculum of, or classes of things that I was learning brand new things in. 

So I felt just this funk, like, who am I anymore? I'm not a student. So it took a while.   It took me a while before I realized, Hey, wait a second. I was at actually the, the pivotal moment was after my son was born. I was providing for my family. I was a teacher full time and I was at a conference or a teacher's conference.

And I went to a class taught by an author that I enjoyed her work. Her name's Jennifer H. Nelson, and she writes middle grade novels. False Prince is her best, best known title, I think. And she was explaining to us as teachers how important it was to tell our students that they are the only ones that can tell their story, whether that's a story of their life or some other imagined story that they have.

And she gave us some tips of how to help our students do that. But I really felt during that  workshop, she was talking to me. That writer in me, reawakened, and I was like, man, I need to write a book. I need to write poetry. What have I been doing? I can still be a student I can still grow.

So that was kind of the changing point after that quarter-life crisis. And I realized I don't have to be a formal student enrolled in a university, or even back when I was in high school, I can be my own teacher and help myself continue to grow in life's class. 

Monica: [00:10:33] I think it's really fortunate you learned that at that age, because as we know about these, you know, quarter-life, mid-life whatever they are crises.

They don't just happen once. There are many opportunities throughout our lives, where our identities shift, where we experience transitions in roles and responsibilities and. What we expect of ourselves. I see this a lot in women who either are transitioning to motherhood or they're transitioning within their careers or their children have left the nest, or they are retiring from work or they have new grandchildren.

And that's where I see that moment you described of wondering, that floundering around, like, "who am I, who am I without this framework that I've been living in?" Or "who am I, without me feeling fulfillment in this framework that I thought I would experience it in?" And it really is an opportunity to seek for other ways to find wholeness, you know, without the props.

And that's where I think if we're going to talk about changing the world, which I've talked about recently, this is my goal from about progress. We want to change the world and the way we're going to do that is changing women. It's helping women feel whole, and this is where we're going to continue with our discussion Mikayla, because it can happen outside of all of these exteriors.

And I feel like you have really been living that out. Do you have any insight on that, before we get into some practical ways that women can start to. Seek that wholeness and for "more," without the outcomes being what the measure is of their success.  

Mikayla: [00:12:05] Absolutely . It is so important to be yourself, no matter what hats you take on or off.

There's some really severe things that happen in life that I think we need these other, other parts of our identity.

We've got to keep, keep strong. We need to keep. You know, showing up as ourselves, just because I became a mother doesn't mean that all of a sudden, I don't love horseback riding anymore. So horseback riding is going to look different. It means I need to make sure that my husband's going to be available to take care of my son or bring my son with me and my friend. And I take turns holding him while the other one's riding a horse. 

I think that no matter what's happening or what changes you have in your life, still find a way to be who you are, because you need that more than anything. I feel that the people around you need that and God needs you to be that . In my belief system, I don't think we came to this earth to just be this dry role of just a mom or just a wife. Like what makes that role beautiful is who I am and what I bring to that role. I hope that's making sense. 

Monica: [00:13:16] I think this applies to all seasons and stages of life that the women who are listening find themselves in whether that's with parenthood or it's what the new career, or even, you know, the spirituality.

And I hope this really is making sense to the women who are listening. When I say this:  as important as your roles and responsibilities are, they are not who you are. Yes. And that's, I think the shift we really have to make, there's more inside you that needs to be cultivated and developed and anchored into so that as your roles and responsibilities shift, you are able to shift alongside them and grow with them.

So let's talk to those women who are realizing they're at a transition point. They're trying to figure out, okay, well, who am I then? Who am I outside of my roles and responsibilities? Not because those aren't important, but because I need to be able to be a full person in order to do those things well and to shift when they need  shifting.

So what would you say you would advise them to do if they're, they're feeling like they're at the point where you are at your quarter-life crisis and be like, well, what's next? How do I figure this out? 

Mikayla: [00:14:24] So I think the first thing you've got to do is pay attention to what intrigues you and this ties so perfectly with the, Do Something List you encourage in your podcast and on the strive hive.

And I totally wrote it last year at the beginning of the year, I've been listening to the podcast since early 2019. So about mid 2019, I was like, I'm totally going to do that for 2020. And I did. And it was awesome. And I love it. Yes. I love the Do Something List doesn't define my goals. It doesn't have to be whoever I am forever. It's not, it's not about my habits. Let me just try something out, you know?Well, I just love how you make that distinction because it was way more exciting to make a Do Something plan last year, then to set goals, I was just at a burnout place where I did not need goals. I wanted to just have fun who didn't need more fun in their life in 2020 let's figure real. 

Monica: [00:15:18] That was a good thing. You had made that. So tell us how that played out for you and how it connects to paying attention to what intrigues you.

Mikayla: [00:15:24] Absolutely. So I read 48 books last year. Some of them were repeats of what I had already read, but most of them were brand new and that really helped me to then see what other places intrigued me. You know, you're reading something from someone else's perspective, whether that's their imagination, if it's fictional or personal experience or what they've studied, if it's nonfiction.

And I grew so much. I read a book by Michael Pollan called the Omnivore's Dilemma and it opened my eyes to how important vegetables are. And my family eats way more vegetables now than we ever have. And we love it. It's not cause it's gross. So we have to like, we enjoy vegetables. So the Do Something list helped me there.

And then I climbed Mount Timpanogos for the first time. I'd always thought I was way too wimpy. And I was like, no, I'm not going to call myself a wimp. I'm going to put this on my, do something and just see if I can make it happen. And I totally did; my mom and I made it to the summit. It was great.

Awesome. 

Monica: [00:16:20] That's a hard time, just for people who aren't familiar. That is a very hard full day big hike. So way to go!

Mikayla: [00:16:27] Thank you. Thank you. It was, it was really hard, but a total blast and definitely worth the view. So there's just a couple of them from my Do Something List. So that's one way to figure out what intrigues you just write down something, even if it's something you've just barely heard about, just throw it on there. And like you say, it's never too late to make your Do Something plan.  

Monica: [00:16:44] I love this tip because it takes the pressure off. It doesn't have to be like, what is my purpose? What is my one mission in life? I have to figure that out right now. No, let's just start with, you know, what sounds interesting? What do I like? 

Mikayla: [00:16:59] Yes. So true. And one of mine, just to show how simple it can be, I wanted to learn how to make a delicious peach smoothie, like a smoothie that has peaches in it. And so that was on my Do Something List and I did it. So, 

Monica: [00:17:13] And so why does that, why does that help you think.

Mikayla: [00:17:17] It helps because, how can I know who I am  if I haven't tried something.  And that doesn't mean you have to try all the things, but, you know, when I, when I watched the great British baking show, that's a show that I really enjoy. Something that helps me realize who I really am is when it was one of the seasons Paul Hollywood.

Is it was bread week and they had to make pretzels and Paul Hollywood gave the recipe and it was scary because Paul Hollywood's like the bread guy or something in the show 

Monica: [00:17:49] And he's the judge. He's like a very, very severe judge who also has beautiful blue eyes. So Brad, always, my husband always talks about those eyes.

Mikayla: [00:17:59] Does he? I love it. Anyways,  it was bread week and I felt like I just wanted to reach into the screen and just like help the people. Cause they were making pretzels and they weren't boiling them and you have to boil your pretzels to get the skin tough on the outside.

And I realized that something I know, and I was like, Whoa, like. I love bread. Let me just keep trying bread out. And I ended up starting my own sourdough bread business last year. I love bread and I thought, you know, maybe I could be a business person. I don't know. Let me try this. So I think just if there's something that sparks your fancy, if you, if you think about it longer than a fleeting second. Put it down on a list somewhere. Give it a try. Yeah. 

Monica: [00:18:42] Open your mind! Get curious, be open to it. That's great. I love that. You said that what's another tip you have for them. 

Mikayla: [00:18:47] Yeah. Another tip with paying attention, to what intrigues you is to talk to people. I think when you learn about other people, you also learn, you learn about their interests, and that also helps you to realize what your interests not only currently are, but what they could be a Bill Nye, the science guy who's just my favorite. He said, everyone, you will ever meet no something. You don't think about that quote all the time that whoever I meet. I'd never want to think of them or my conversations with them as a waste of time, because I think we can all benefit from each other, no matter how different we are. And talking to people that are different from us helps us to see what else we can learn and how we can grow.

 And just a quick example with that quilting was never something that I planned on doing in my life. I saw it as this really hard sewing endeavor that only old ladies engaged in. And there was this weekend. one of my best friends named Shea. She was going up to visit her grandma who lives about six hours away.

And she was seven months pregnant at the time. And she was like, Hey, I don't really want to go on this trip by myself. Her husband was on a military assignment. She was like, Hey, do you, do you think you could come with me this weekend? I'm going to go have a quilting time with my grandma. You can come and bring whatever craft stuff you want.

So I was like, cool. I'll bring my sketchbook. I'll come with you. I'll just hang out with you and your grandma. And the moment we walked into her grandma's door, I was just blown away with like this smattering of quilts that were throughout this house. There was quilts on the wall. There were quilts over the couch and on the beds and in the office.

And she had made all of them. Grandma Brown had made all these quilts and she kind of saw this glitter in my eye. And she turned to me and was like, "Hey, do you have any. Desire to quilt?" And I said, well, maybe someday, you know, in my brain, I'm thinking when I'm old and a wise Sage grandma, that's when I'll be a quilter.

And she said to me, I love this firm, cute woman. She said, you are not leaving my house this weekend until you have a quilt in hand that you have made start to finish. And she helped me to do it. So I'm grateful for other people in how, and at least in my experience, they've helped me to realize what, what intrigues me. 

Monica: [00:20:55] There's probably someone out there who knows things. We don't like you like the Bill Nye referenced me is awesome. But I even liked that too. It connects to what we talked about earlier. It takes the pressure off again. You don't have to be the expert. You don't have to know what you're doing right away.

Nobody does. Yes. You're going to be terrible at it too.  What's next for you? 

Mikayla: [00:21:13] Another thing it's important to remember is that we can go for it, even if the stars haven't aligned yet. And I think this is a huge inhibitor for a lot of us is: we're waiting. We're waiting for something in our life to change so that we're in a better position to start xYZ. And we could wait our whole lives to start living, or we could start living now. So I want to live now and I'm grateful for that amazing author that helped me to realize that.  There's a song I love by echo Smith. She says in the song, I'm already who I want to be tomorrow, who I want to be tomorrow is who I am right now.

And I love that. I don't want to wait for tomorrow to be proud of myself for, to be excited about life. Let me, let me beat that right now. And something that really makes me excited. And like I mentioned before, it has made me excited since my infancy basically is words. I love writing so much. 

So this past summer, after I wrapped things up with my bed business. Cause I did what I needed to do with that, and I was ready to keep growing and progressing. I really  wanted to write a novel. Hadn't written a novel in 10 years and they wanted to write it legit this time.  I just talked with my husband, Hey, I really want to make this happen.

How can we make this happen?  We worked out that I wake up early, I wake up at five in the morning. I, you know, read my scriptures for a little bit. And then I start writing and I write for two hours every morning.

  The stars haven't aligned, I'm not like this retired person that has all this time to write. I'm crunching it in before my kids wake up. And sometimes it gets interrupted because I got to change a diaper or get a bottle or whatever. But I'm, I'm an author right now and I'm living that dream right now. So I don't have to wait till I'm published to say that I'm a writer, I'm a writer right now and I'm living that dream.  

Monica: [00:22:55] McKayla, that goes back. You talked about with identity too, you know, too often we wait to have arrived at a certain point in order to say, I am blank. Like I'm a runner. I am a Baker. I am a writer.

Whatever it is. No, you can own that right now! And I love that you did that and you didn't have to wait. You just took it on. And that's actually a big part of what my original Do Something List was about. I was trying on things for size. I was trying on being a decorator or an interior designer or a writer, like just trying on things and seeing how it fit and how it felt and learning from it and maybe moving onto the next thing or buckling down on something else.

So when you release this novel, I don't care if it's self published or otherwise you need to let us know about it so we can share it with the community. That's really cool. 

Mikayla: [00:23:41] I would love to. Thank you, Monica. 

 I also think it's important to remember that the timing's never going to be perfect. So when I started my bread business last year, I had my kitchen inspected and things were set to go. I had my business license, I had my cottage foods permit and which those that aren't familiar with, it's a permit that. Basically allows you to run a business out of your own kitchen.  I had that set to go. And the week of my business opening is when the pandemic hit crazy in the United States. 

And all of us were scared to get takeout.  I was even scared to get groceries. Cause I didn't know what we didn't know the nature of this illness, you know? So I wonder like, what am I doing? Like I'm starting this business. That involves food locally made food that doesn't have a reputation yet. What am I doing? And I thought, no, it's not about how much this sells. It's about me learning and growing in this idea in history, my head to start a small business and to learn what that's all about. Can I do this? And yes, I can.

You know, even if I just have two customers, that's something that I'm learning and it grew a lot from there. It was a rough start, but I'm glad I didn't wait for the stars to align because I learned how to open a business during a pandemic. 

And one last tip with this, or maybe not tip just insight I have is that people around us need our gifts.  No matter how underdeveloped we think our gifts are, there are people around us, especially those closest to us, that deserve to have our light and our brilliance. I think about my mom, she has made me thousands of delicious meals and she has completely self-taught  and how beautiful my life has been to have all these delicious tastes growing up and to sit and enjoy meals with my family. 

If she had smothered that talent, because she was comparing yourself to someone else, how much my entire family would have missed out on my dad, he has an amazing storytelling voice and he has read me stories.  As a little girl, every night for I'd go to bed, he'd read me stories. And his storytelling voice was such a gift in my life to appreciate literature and the, the rich delicious understanding it gives us to have these stories from these different times and different perspectives. And obviously that's playing into my life right now.

I'm kind of obsessed with writing in books. But had he not given that to me, I don't know if I would have had the courage or the excitement even to pursue this. So people around us need our gifts.  

Monica: [00:26:07] I like this point as well, because it's not about where do I line up. With other people, how will, how am I being perceived? What will people think about me. That's imposter syndrome and that's the number one way to get around it is don't make this about, you make this about them, other people.

Totally beautiful. What else do you have for them? Any other advice? 

Mikayla: [00:26:30] As far as not waiting for the stars to align. I think we also worry that we're not good enough. We have to offer isn't good enough. And or that what we have to offer is going to get destroyed.  Whether we're going to get a scathing review or, you know, something I think about my future is what if a publisher doesn't like what I have to say?

Well, most, most successful people have had that happen. So  one of my absolute favorite quotes. I'm a quote person. I apologize if I'm sharing too many.  It's a quote that's written on the wall of an orphanage in Calcutta says "If you are a kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives, be kind anyway, what you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight. Build anyway. the good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow. Do good. Anyway, give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough. Give the world the best you've got. Anyway, you see in the final analysis it is between you and your God anyway." And I just love that 

beat those words. That's for sure.

Monica: [00:27:33] Especially from a   literally saint, 

Absolutely. 

Mikayla: [00:27:36] I love that woman. 

Monica: [00:27:38] So these women who are listening, they're, they're really leaning into these things. They're, they're hearing what you have to say. Any other advice you have for them? 

Mikayla: [00:27:46] I think the last thing is to be your own professor. I loved having I'm CA I just loved school.

So I liked having a syllabus. I liked seeing what was coming ahead and I really work well with you know, some kind of parameter a guideline. And what's really nice about not being in a specific formal education. Like when you're your own professor, you have your own thing in mind that you want to learn or go for it.

You can set your own standards of how you're going to get there. And so for what I'm doing right now, with my knowledge, well, I decided last summer, I kind of got the idea of .What I wanted to write. And then I thought it's an, it's a historical fiction novel. And I realized I really didn't know a lot about pirates, which is what this book is about.

So. I said, okay, I'm going to read 10 nonfiction books about pirates or something to do with piracy. And then I want to read 15 books that are YA middle-grade books, especially if they have something to do with. With pirates or seafaring or something. So I set that parameter for myself. 

And then a friend of mine invited me to participate in national novel writing month with her NaNoWriMo. And so I was like, yeah, I can do that. I can write 50,000 words in November. That's something I definitely want to crank out. It's going to be hard, but I totally can do it. So I set that next standard for myself .

The phase I'm in now is editing my second draft and I'm planning to have beta readers from February to March. And then the other parameter I have set is that from April to June, I'm going to start querying agents and hopefully find a publisher. So I set that schedule for myself and that's helped me stay motivated and really, truly make this dream move  forward. 

So I'm listening 

Monica: [00:29:24] to you Mikayla, and I'm just blown away. I mean, not only by clearly the gifts and talents that you have and how freely you share them. But also your pursuit of these things. This, this is what we talked about last month when we talked about reach for more and you're living this.

I just want to point out to my listeners who are thinking, wow, 50,000 words and reading that many books. And I couldn't do any of those things. Let's go back to the roots of what you talked about today. Mikayla, you know, you just need to go for it. You just need to try, you just need to get messy. You don't need to measure yourself against anyone else.

And furthermore, I think another thing I am seeing in you is that you are doing this from a different place than people might think they have to do a four. You're not about this for the achievements or, or trying to prove yourself and your worth. I can see, I can feel it on the side of the microphone.

That your identity, your wholeness is intact and you are doing this as a way to explore and to push yourself and to reach for greater, but not to prove it. And that's what I think is the biggest difference I see between perfectionism and progress. It's where your worth lies, where your identity lies and how tied in and anchored in you are  to those things. I just want to applaud you for that. Thank you so much. 

Mikayla: [00:30:36] Thank you so much. And I'm glad you brought that up because it really like writing to me is not about getting on the New York Times, best seller list. That's not my goal. And 10 years, I didn't write novels. I wrote some poetry and I did some blogging, which was also very valuable and important to me, but I was scared to write a book because I thought I could only write a book, if it would become successful. And I, I also struggled with writing because it's been something I've loved since I was little. And I wondered if I liked writing because other people said I was good at it. I didn't know if it was something that I really loved or if I just really relished the praise and I was scared of the praise for awhile because the pressure, like what if I write something that's that they say isn't good.

Really? It doesn't matter. Now I know that I didn't know that for a long time, but now I know it doesn't matter if other people say that it's good or not. If I enjoyed it and I felt true to who I am while I was doing it and it brings me purpose and joy, then I'm going to do it. I have to say every, since I started getting up way earlier than I used to, I'm a better mom, because when I'm hanging out with my kids, I've already written for the day and I've expressed my identity.

Monica: [00:31:50] You're anchored into the wholeness. So that  you have more to give from. And I want to say, I don't think it's a bad thing either to say I would love to be in the New York times bestseller. I have a goal to do that. It's again, about where it's coming from. Are you anchored in any way then go for it?

Like if you have those big dreams and ambitions, I think those are great things too. So we don't want to say that it could, you know, it only counts as progress if you like downplay things. And I don't think you are, and just want to make that clear, but I love this balance, right? It's such a fine balance.

And I would refer people to an episode. We did last month with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson Fife and her sister, Carolyn Bever who is a professional musician, how you can strive for excellence, but it's more about who you are in the process. So Mikayla, you ha you are living this out and beautiful ways that really inspire me.

And you have re-motivated me tonight and ways I needed coming into this conversation. I needed to talk to you today. And I know there are many women who needed it to be inspired by your own progress story. That you shared with us today and your zest for growing and curiosity and learning it's contagious.

I really thank you for, for submitting your application to the show, which was so well done and for taking the time to be here. And I would love to hear it before we end tonight, what is something you are working on besides, you know, this novel that we've talked about and other things that you've been exploring lately?

What's another thing that you've been working on with your own personal development. 

Yes. Thank 

Mikayla: [00:33:11] you. And I'm glad I could share something with you, Monica. Cause you've picked me up on like, So many days, dozens, probably hundreds now.  Something I'm working on right now is running.

Actually running used to scare me so bad. You know, people would say they loved running and I was like, man, I, I don't know what that is. You know, I don't know. I know it's just my two legs, but it just looks so scary. And during the middle of the pandemic, I think so many of us got broken down in so many different ways that it also really helped us to, at least in my experience, grow in ways that I had never realized I could.

And I realized that I can run, even if it's real slow, I can learn how to do that. So I'm training for a half marathon. Hopefully that'll happen in this summer that I'll be able to do it with an organized group, but if not, I'll run it by myself. So I'm learning how to run right now. 

Monica: [00:34:10] Well, we'll cheer you along the way. And Mikayla, most of our women who are from the community who are on the show, featured as full  fledged guests, they don't often have a public profile to share; but just in case, do you have one that people can find you on? And if not, that's okay. 

Mikayla: [00:34:24] Yeah. So I'm on Instagram at @mikjohnsonwrites and you can see my poetry there and updates on my book cause I work on it. And then I have a website mikjohnsonwrites.com. 

Monica: [00:34:35] Wonderful. We will link both of those in the show notes. I'm really grateful again, that you took the time to be on the show. And more importantly, that you are such an incredible part of this community. And again, let's go back to the listeners here; this is you, too, this community. We learn so much from every woman who listens and takes part in the show and shows up on Instagram and shares what they're, they're going through in their own progress story. And you are a part of that. And I just, again, back to you and Mikayla, thank you so much for being here.

Mikayla: [00:35:01] Absolutely. Thank you so much for having me, Monica. It's been an absolute delight.